The Libertarian – April Edition

0Team Leaders IntroductionOpeningAnna.Marie97 & TMTM
1Get Wavy with the Navy!ArticleTMTM
2Nothing Frightens our Titans!ArticleTMTM
3To All the MothersPoemTrixDoesMedia
4Flower Power!ArticleYodar
5Real Life Heroes in USDFArticlemarsfromthe1975
6Crack a Laugh with our PersonnelArticleAnna.Marie97
7The Unexplained VisionScary Short StoryPromptis
8How to Spice Up Your GardenArticleYodar
9May the Force be with YouStoryManuel.Vazquez4
10Those that LivedArticleKreepKap
11Looking Back in USDFArticleEmobabykittycat
12Color-in Your GardenArticle-Eils
13The State of Military Flower in USDFArticleMaxite

 Team Leader Introduction

by Anna.Marie97 & TMTM

by Anna.Marie97

CW5 Anna.Marie97 – Team Leader
Hello! My name is Anna.Marie97 – but most just call me Anna.
I live in the United States (EST-2) with my wife and our crazy clan of critters! We have 2 dogs – Koda and Roxy, 2 cats – Stormy and Tiger Lily, and 3 ducks – Clyde, Sunset, and Bert. My life is far from boring – along with our crazy clan of critters that keep us on our toes, I work 2 jobs on top of running my own business which consists of 3 different departments! I always make time for my USDF family. I joined USDF in August 2022 and OPA in October 2022. OPA is my safe haven, where I can be as creative as I want freely with no fear of judgment. Although I have been in the Libertarian creating graphics and writing articles, this is my first experience being a Team Leader for it. And, even though I joined as a TL partway through the project, I have enjoyed every minute of it. We hope you enjoy this month’s Libertarian, I know we have enjoyed putting everything together for all of you! <3

SgtMaj TMTM – Assistant Team Leader
Hi! I’m Lili, you know me as TMTM! I’m a UKanian hailing from the north and I work in a real life OPA lol. I love being a part of creative projects in work and so being in OPA is really truly my happy place! The Libertarian has been my first project to be a part of and I was lucky enough to get to join the leadership team half way through as well! I really hope you enjoy this edition of the Libertarian, everyone has worked so hard to produce some amazing pieces! Thanks so much for reading !!

Get Wavy with the Navy!



The United States Navy is one of the four branches of the USDF. At the time of writing, a massive 143 personnel call the Navy their home. The Navy was the first-ever branch created within USDF and over the last 8 years, since its establishment, there have been 29 CNOs! They are currently led by CNO, RDML KarturoW; VCNO, CDR Snatchem, and MCPON Wormee,. I have spoken to several sailors from the Navy to get a better understanding of what it means to be a part of our all-in-white branch! 

Who are you and why did you join the Navy branch?

The first sailor I spoke to was CPO Slurpee_, also known as Pi, who has been a sailor for their entire USDF career. Slurpee_ joined the Navy because they were lacking people when they were going through IRDT. However, they have enjoyed their time in the Navy so far!

CWO5 Lovly-callum1234, from Scotland, has been in the Navy since joining USDF. He works in Software Engineering in real life! Callum was part of the group that came from the White House after it closed down. He, like CPO Slurpee_, also chose the Navy because they were asked if they would like to switch to the Navy during IRDT. Having been in the Navy for about 5 and a half months now, he has no intention of leaving.

CDR Candykitten22. was once a member of the Marines however joined the Navy after spending almost a year there. She wanted to try out a branch she had never been a part of, and has been a sailor for over a month now.

PO1 Coyyb, who has been a sailor for just over two weeks, joined the Navy because they thought the people seemed cool, and they loved the uniforms.

MCPON Wormee, said: “Hi! My name is Marina, also known as Wormee, and I’ve been a sailor for as long as I have been in USDF! I chose the Navy because it sounded cool and I’ve always liked being in the ocean and by the beach, it’s one of my relaxing places.”

Finally, I spoke to CDR Snatchem, the VCNO of the Navy. Snatchem, also known as Manny, has been in the Navy for around six months and chose the Navy because of its vibrant atmosphere and family-like culture.

Is there anyone in the Navy who has had a significant impact on your career?

When asked about who has had a significant impact on their career, Slurpee_ said that there is no particular person that has impacted them much since everyone has been extremely and unconditionally supportive. If he had to pick someone though it would be his ex-mentor Xexion. The entire branch has shown him nothing but amazement! (Shoutout to the whole of the Navy)

Candykitten22. stated that all Navy personnel are inspiring, especially the CNO KarturoW, “Seeing him go from OISA director to CNO makes him someone to look up to” she stated.

Lovly-callum1234 mentioned CWO5 ItMrStea1YoGirl, who “has been around for what feels like forever and is very active within the Navy”. He continued with, “He’s also part of the Navy and has been in a few seminars I’ve been to and he always seems to be involved somehow as is active within the Navy. Being part of both my office, OISA, and branch I can see what kind of impact he has all around. Hello Andy!”

Coyyb stated that their mentor, Nathare (Nat), has had a significant impact on their career so far. “She will continue to assist with that improving my confidence and helping me with anything USDF related that I might throw her way”

Wormee, told me: “NefariousZ as he was my mentor. Although I didn’t need much help from him in the knowledge department, he was always there to support me and just be my friend as a lonely E4.” She also mentioned Camastrr too! “Being chosen for MCPON, I was shocked because honestly, I thought I was in the shadows of my fellow sailors, but it showed me that I was seen and that people had seen the hard work I’d been putting in. He supported me the most when I came into my position and has been a friendly face since he was accepted for his new position.”

Snatchem believes that everyone in the Navy has impacted them in one way or another, as they grow and learn together. He has learned so much from all those within the Navy, as well as from the CNO, who has shown them the proper path to be an excellent VCNO.

What is next for you within USDF?

When asked about what is next for them within USDF, Lovly-callum1234 said they are enjoying their time in OISA as they have met so many new people, however would love to progress within the intelligence portfolio within USDF and sees OJSIG in their future. He told me that the whole portfolio is the most interesting place to find yourself within USDF.

Coyyb said, “Next for me in USDF is when I get E7 I have so many plans such as applying to be a mentor to assist my fellow Navy JNCOs and also apply for MCPON when the apps open!”

Wormee, said “I have always wanted to try for an office command position that is more permanent. I always strive for what makes me happy and will allow me to help other people along the way. I think I will lean towards OMP again as a regular member first, and then try to apply for a higher command position. But honestly, I just go with the wind and I’d be happy to move around offices to find my place.”

Snatchem‘s next career goal within USDF is to get into OSD. “This is something I never thought was possible, but now being in the position I am in, I see it more possible to do now than ever.” It seems as though it pays off to follow your ambitions as you never know where you might find yourself!

Oh no! – You are going to be stranded on a desert island! Which 3 sailors are you bringing with you to stay alive?

Slurpee_ said: “I would bring the one and only Manny aka Snatchem. Absolute legend, a real leader o7. I would also bring Coyyb so I can make fun of him while on the island. Entertainment issue solved. Lastly, I would bring .cxt she’ll definitely be in charge of our mental health. Being stranded on an island takes a toll on our mental welfare and she’s the perfect person for this job!”

Candykitten22. said: “I would bring .:Hoodini:. because he’d be the one to go out first, BasicallyIDoWrk and FeastBeast”

Lovly-callum1234 told me “ItMrStea1YoGirl firstly, he’s from the south (YEEEEEEEEHAW) so I’m sure he can fish or hunt or whatever to help survive (sorry for the stereotype Andy).

I’m also bringing candykitten22, she works in real estate or property management or something like that so I’m hoping she can help use coconut hair and palm tree wood to fashion a boat or raft of some kind Finally I’m bringing armando498, I know he plays the ukulele (its something like that maybe the violin I’m not sure) so he can keep us entertained during our time on the island”

Coybb said: “3 Sailors – Nathare, Snatchem & Slurpee_”

Wormee, said: “I would bring :Nocturnal: with me, he is rich and an absolute laugh so I’d be entertained with his noobness and goofiness. Second is candykitten22.. Sara is always looking slay and no doubt she would look fine on the desert island. I’d need her advice to keep myself looking fresh and slay while I’m on the island. For my final sailor, I would choose Natallie, she has a creative mind and that would certainly help when we need to create a raft!”

Snatchem said: “BasicallyIDoWrk KarturoW & HumanRevolution”

Tell me why someone should transfer to the Navy in no more than 10 words!


Candykitten22.: We inspire one another, we are one NAVY WAVY HOOYAH!

lovly-callum1234: Let’s get WAVY, with the NAVY

Wormee,: The Wavy Navy is too slay to miss, my friend.

Coybb: Come be wavy, with the Navy HOOYAH! 

Finally, the most important question I asked our sailors:

Is a hot dog a sandwich? 

Slurpee_ suggested that the answer is “both a sandwich and not a sandwich” implying that there is some overlap between the two categories. Meanwhile, Candykitten22. firmly believes that a hot dog cannot be classified as a sandwich because it is served on hot dog buns rather than sliced bread. Wormee, screamed at me “ABSOLUTELY NOT”

Lovly-callum1234 argued that a sandwich is defined by the presence of additional ingredients such as tomatoes, and that a hot dog is simply leftover meat combined into a sausage shape. Coyyb and Snatchem, on the other hand, were unequivocal in their rejection of the idea that a hot dog could be considered a sandwich.

Thanks to all of my willing and not so willing interviewees for this article! I know I certainly feel like I know our sailors a lot better now and I hope you do too!

Nothing Frightens our Titans!


by Reliefs

The USDF Titans are our official Habbo football team. The Titans are run by two managers: CAPT Saint–14 and LCDR EpicAlexCE, and command members CWO5 middled and LCDR FeastBeast. 

I spoke to middled who explained the game to me, a football newbie! He explained that there are several levels to the Titans, these are the “Youth Division” for newer players, a “Semi-Pro Division” for more experienced players, and a “Pro Division” for the best of the best! This gives members of this sub-office an opportunity to practice with people of their own ability and thus makes it a more enjoyable experience for all. There are also often internal matches using players of all skill levels to help ensure that people are learning and developing within the game. 

The USDF Titans have a wealth of resources including practice stadiums, a knowledge bank full of tips and tricks, and often have hands-on sessions to provide critique and improve their overall gameplay. If you joined the Titans, you’d be in safe hands to learn the basics of Habbo football and eventually be able to call yourself a pro at the sport. The Titans often compete in the IFA league which is a high-level league. Recent games have included MI6, HIA, SS, and MinDef!

I also managed to speak to several members, both current and previous titans to get a better & inside understanding of what it takes to be a Habbo Football star!

What has been your best memory so far? 

LTG Zack436: “Honestly, it is watching other members play as a group and making sure they are encouraging them to develop their skills to their fullest potential. Teamwork is very important and they look after each other.”

CPO Hokey1: “I’m still new with the Titans so I’m making new memories with them everyday, but my favourite memories are probably our training sessions, when we stop a game and a senior titans member explains a move/mechanic. I was being taught about Habbo football by Camastrr (Bob) and then Titans members slowly joined the room and it became a Titans practice match. At the end EpicAlexCE (Titans captain) gave me the offer of joining titans, so I accepted.”

LCDR FeastBeast: “My best memory of the Titans would be the Flash Cup we played in December 2020. During that time, the new Habbo client was emerging and football was not working properly, so it could have been the last Habbo Football tournament to be hosted. However, as Titans, we decided to participate and we worked incredibly hard to become champions. We spent countless hours practising and strategizing, and I’m proud to say that our efforts paid off in the end as we emerged victorious. It was a thrilling experience and a testament to the teamwork and determination of our team. My most memorable game would definitely be the VFA Flash Cup final. Just the reason we initially participated, thinking we wouldn’t be playing anymore and winning the possibly last tournament was an incredible feeling.”

Why did you join and how is/was your experience?

LTG Zack436: “I went to a tryout and everyone there was having so much fun, and I have decided to join the team to have some fun too!”

CPO Hokey1: “So far it’s been very rewarding because it’s been fun learning about Habbo football and I’ve met some really cool people through titans.”

CWO5 Toxic_silver2x: “I joined cause I’ve always wanted to play habbo football but never truly had the skills to play pro. Now that I’m less busy and they opened up their tryouts, I thought let’s give this a shot. So far so good experience. I’ve mostly been able to play during practices as I’ve had work during matches. The information given has been helpful, it’s just applying them during games.”

1st Lt ,-Platinum: “I joined as it was something to do whilst I’m off office duties. It’s also a way of branching out to other agencies, such as our allies. It’s very competitive too, and I love that atmosphere.”

LCDR FeastBeast: “I joined because of Branch Wars in 2020. I was watching the game and saw EpicAlexCE (shoutout to the GOAT) playing, dribbling around and showcasing exceptional skills on the pitch. I was inspired and thought to myself, “I want to improve like that!” This motivated me to apply to join Titans, and my experience since then has been nothing short of amazing. It has been three years now, despite some on/off times on USDF, and being part of Titans has become a significant part of my core memories on Habbo. I have had the opportunity to meet incredible people, improve my skills, and be part of a supportive and dedicated team. It has been an enriching and fulfilling experience that I cherish deeply.”

On a scale of 1-10 how easy is it to pick up Habbo Football with 10 being easy peasy!

LTG Zack436: “8. It is very easy to pick up and play, but in order to get better, you need to practise as a team and develop your skills.”

CPO Hokey1: “8 – Habbo football is so confusing and I’m still terrible at it, but I’ve definitely seen some progress in my skill.”

CWO5 Toxic_silver2x: “I would rate it a 5. The fundamentals aren’t hard to pick up on, but it’s the timing and spacing I think that is the hard part. I like to work on my gk skills and timing is everything when you are the primary one to save a goal. It’s also important when working towards shooting a goal. If you’re timing and spacing are off, the opportunity will have passed and then you could be giving the ball to the other team.”

LCDR FeastBeast: “This might be subjective, considering it depends on a person’s ability to learn and adapt. I would say, it is around 5-6. It is not easy, but it’s also not difficult; if one is passionate enough to practise frequently and do scrimmage with their friends/Titan players they would pick up on the game quite fast.”

Who, in your opinion, is the best Titan?

LTG Zack436: “Honestly, it would have to be FiftyMiles. He has served as Captain, and he was very patient, and helped us hone our skills. I know that he just wants us to enjoy playing as a team and represent USDF in games with pride.”

CPO Hokey1: “Oooooo, that’s a tough question. It’s either EpicAlexCE or FeastBeast!”

CWO5 Toxic_silver2x: “I think one of the best titans players is Elio (FeastBeast) because he can play multiple positions and is a great Goal Keeper. Personally, I would like to learn his skills while being a GK to become a legend GK as well.”

1st Lt ,-Platinum: “FeastBeast, also known as Feast da Beast!”

The Titans are certainly a force to be reckoned with! If you fancy yourself as the next big thing in Habbo Football then apply to join them on the USDF forums once applications reopen! Keep an eye out on the Discord server for an announcement!

To All the Mothers

by TrixDoesMedia

By Reliefs

The poem “To All the Mothers” is a heartfelt tribute to the extraordinary love and sacrifice of mothers. It celebrates their role as the silent architects of our dreams, the nurturers of the cosmos, and the pillars of resilience and wisdom in the face of a world that tests their might. The poem highlights how mothers shape us with tender hands, cultivate our aspirations, and leave an indelible mark on our lives. It ends by honouring all mothers with words, love, and gratitude for all that they are and all that they’ve given, celebrating their light, their essence, and the universe they’ve shaped within our hearts.

To all the mothers, in the beginning,
The dawn of life’s creation,
In the crucible of birth, within the chrysalis of humanity,
You stand, majestic, resolute,
A beacon of love and sacrifice.

To all the mothers, cradling the stars,
Womb-bearers, life-carriers,
The silent architects of our dreams,
Nurturers of the cosmos,
And the light that never fades.

From your fingertips, flows like the river,
You trace the universe on our skin,
Each laugh line, each scar, each furrow,
A testament to the battles fought and won.

In the garden of life, you sow seeds,
Tending to our roots and branches,
You cultivate dreams and aspirations,
We, the blossoming flowers of your labour.

To all the Mothers, the potters of our clay,
Shaping us with tender hands,
Each curve, each edge, a reflection of your love,
An unwavering connection through time and space.

In this 21st century, you face a new breed of strife,
The tug of war between career and care,
The constant battle for balance,
A dance on the tightrope of life.

As technology encroaches, stealing precious moments,
You shield us from its relentless grasp,
Yet harness its power for knowledge,
To illuminate our minds and spark our curiosity.

To all the mothers, bearing the weight of a world in flux,
Navigating shifting societal norms,
Standing tall amid the storms,
A pillar of resilience and wisdom.

In your eyes, we find solace,
The harbours of tranquillity,
Respite from the storms,
The embrace that tells us, “All will be well.”

To all the Mothers, guardians of our souls,
You teach us to dance in the rain,
To find beauty in the chaos,
The melody in the cacophony of life.

You show us the way, through the labyrinth of existence,
Oh, what might mapmakers you are,
Charting the course, the compass within our souls,
As we journey through the uncharted.

In the face of these struggles, you do not falter,
Your love, an unyielding force,
An indomitable spirit,
A testament to your strength and grace.

To all the mothers, on this day we honour you,
With words, with love, with gratitude,
For all that you are, all that you’ve given,
We celebrate your light, your essence,
And the universe you’ve shaped within our hearts,
Despite the challenges of a world that tests your might.

 Flower Power!

by Yodar

by Natallie

Flower Power is a term that was first used in the late 1960s and early 1970s, particularly in the United States and Western Europe, to describe a cultural and political movement that espoused the principles of love, peace, and non-violence. The term was coined by the American poet Allen Ginsberg in 1965 as a way of describing the use of flowers as a symbol of peace and protest.

The Flower Power movement emerged as a response to the social and political turmoil of the time, including the Vietnam War, the civil rights movement, and the feminist movement. Many young people were disillusioned with the establishment and sought alternative ways of living and expressing themselves.

The use of flowers as a symbol of protest and non-violence was a key part of the Flower Power movement. Flower-wearing demonstrators would hand out flowers to police officers and soldiers, hoping to spread the message of peace and love. The iconic image of a protester placing a flower into the barrel of a National Guard rifle during an anti-war demonstration in 1967 became a powerful symbol of the Flower Power movement.

Flower Power was also closely associated with the hippie subculture, which rejected mainstream values and embraced alternative lifestyles, such as communal living and experimental drug use. Many of the movement’s principles, such as environmentalism and spiritual exploration, continue to influence countercultural movements today.

Woodstock was a music festival that took place from August 15 to 18, 1969, in Bethel, New York. The festival attracted an estimated 400,000 people and is considered a seminal moment in the counterculture movement of the 1960s. Woodstock featured a wide range of musical acts, including Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, The Who, Joe Cocker, Santana, and many others. It is often remembered for its message of peace, love, and unity, and for its association with the hippie movement. Woodstock has since become an iconic symbol of the 1960s and a touchstone for the counterculture movement.

Hippies were a subculture that emerged in the United States during the 1960s. They were primarily associated with the counterculture movement and were known for their rejection of mainstream values and their embrace of non-traditional lifestyles. Hippies were often characterized by their long hair, colorful clothing, and use of recreational drugs such as marijuana and LSD.

Hippies were generally opposed to the Vietnam War, and many were involved in anti-war protests and other political activism. They also espoused values such as peace, love, and freedom, and were often associated with the promotion of environmentalism and communal living.

The hippie subculture had a significant impact on popular culture, influencing music, fashion, and art. Some of the most famous figures associated with the hippie movement include musicians such as Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and The Grateful Dead, as well as political activists like Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin.

In conclusion, Flower Power was a cultural and political movement that emerged in the late 1960s and early 1970s as a response to the social and political turmoil of the time. It promoted the principles of love, peace, and non-violence, and used flowers as a symbol of protest and solidarity. Although the movement was short-lived, its legacy continues to inspire countercultural movements around the world.

Real Life Heroes in USDF!

by marsfromthe1975

by Anna.Marie97

It’s not just a game folks, this is REAL LIFE. I had the opportunity to interview one of the first people I met in USDF – Jashawn88. To give you some background, Jashawn led my DFMAP Green training and as a newbie to Habbo, training always makes me nervous. However, Jashawn really broke the ice when I beat him in one of the rounds when he said something along the lines of “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, your chokehold is crazy”. His ability to make you laugh just gives you a glimpse of Jashawn’s character so I am excited to share with you that he is an actual, REAL LIFE, Hero in the U.S. Navy!

Let’s give some background first on the U.S. Navy and its history before we dive into the interview, shall we? The United States Navy is a major branch of the United States and they are considered to be armed forces charged with the defense of the country at sea. They maintain security on the seas wherever the interests of the United States extend. The history of America battling overseas tracks all the way back to the American Revolution when America wasn’t even truly America yet – just the 13 colonies. That’s more than 200 years ago! Enlisting in the U.S. Navy is no easy task as they have several roles when carrying out their duties. To name a few, those serving in the Navy have to learn to develop tactics and procedures whether afloat or ashore, learn to work with joint and allied partners, optimise effectiveness through technologies and innovation, as well as overseeing the work on Information Systems Technicians (Sailors who serve as specialists in information technology). Talk about a variety of skills and qualifications, right?

My interview with Jashawn really shined a light on the life of an enlisted sailor in the Navy. I was in awe of how highly he spoke of the Navy and although challenging, just how grateful he was to be in this place in his life and continue to learn and form bonds with people he cared about.

I started our interview by asking Jashawn if he could give me some background on his journey in the Navy so far, such as how long he has been enlisted and at what age did he know he wanted to be in the Navy. He responded with, I have not been in that long and went in August of last year and graduated boot camp in October of 2022. I knew at the age of 20 I wanted to join because I didn’t see my life going anywhere, and I live in a bad area so I felt I had to join to escape the lifestyle I was currently living.

The next section of our interview really touched my heart as I saw how Jashawn was reflective on his answer and just by his genuine sincerity throughout his interview. I asked Jashawn why he chose the Navy out of all the branches and he shared with me that he did not want to have to fight and go overseas to kill people. He had heard many stories of soldiers and veterans who have dealt with PTSD and did not want to have to endure that later down the road.

I then went on to ask the question we’ve all been waiting for – what is the most challenging part of enlisting in the Navy and what has been a highlight of your journey? Jashawn told me, Adapting is one of the hardest things. Boot camp was probably the hardest part because you barely have any contact with your friends and family but even outside of boot camp I find myself finding it very hard to adapt to this lifestyle, as my day starts at about 10 am and then have class from 1445pm (2:45 pm), to about midnight. By the time I get home, I am so tired so it is hard to stay in contact with the people I love and do the things I enjoy. My weekends are the only time I actually have to do the things I like to do. He then shared with me that he knows he will adjust and I loved his optimism! Jashawn then shared with me some of their highlights or what I like to call “cup fillers”. Boy, do I depend on those cup fillers these days! He shared with me, The best part is the people. It always has been. The amount of friends that I’ve made since boot camp is unimaginable. The bond we have is strong, and eventually, when I leave it will be hard to say goodbye to some of these people since we’re all from different places. Another rewarding thing is that I am perfecting my craft because being an IT in the Navy, I’ll be lined up for a 6 figure salary and I love that. I too, love that for him. Let’s get my guy Jashawn this bag, please, and thank you!

To finish off our interview, I asked Jashawn if he could tell me some funny stories from boot camp. He told me that there were so many, but that one he had to tell me was about how his RDCs (the boot camp instructors) and how one of them, being a chief, got to wear a special cover for the “peanut butters” (that’s what they call the Navy Service Uniforms). Well, the Yeoman in his division had gotten marker on it and tried to get it off but only made it worse. The chief was so upset and in reaction to the Yeoman getting his badge dirty called the Yeoman “a lump of depression with legs”. Jashawn shared with me that this joke had the whole division laughing for days. I love that for them. :,)

Some last remarks from Jashawn, when I asked him what’s something he would want people to know about him or the Navy, were, Just be ready. Remember why you joined because times will get tough. Suicide rates are higher than normal for military personnel so please, please remember why you joined and surround yourself with people who lift you up. I enjoy my choice. Had I stayed in the situation I was in, I would probably be dead already. I chose one of the best jobs in the military and although I don’t have much experience yet, it hasn’t been too bad. The experience I’m getting from this job is better than anything in the world and the military life can set you up in the civilian world for life. I love my life, and my word of advice to anybody who does this is to follow your heart and remember that we are all one team!

Jashawn88, I truly enjoyed being able to interview you and am extremely grateful I got to learn about your life in the U.S. Navy. USDF and I wish you nothing but the best because you deserve it!

To the readers, thank you for joining me in this interview and I hope to sit and chat with you next time.

Crack a Laugh with our Personnel!

by Anna.Marie97

By  reignoff

There comes a time when we all just need to have a laugh. Maybe you’re having a bad day, or just in a goofy mood. Fun fact, research has shown that laughing can improve blood flow, improve immunity, regulate blood sugar levels, and improve your sleep! All in all, laughing will not only help you feel better mentally, but it is also a good benefit for you physically. So, to boost some laughter through USDF, I reached out to some fellow members to ask what their favorite jokes were and any funny stories they would like to share! I hope what they had to say makes you laugh as much as I did.


“So I was on a camping trip in the summer years ago and I went to the bathroom in the night, considering this was at the bottom of the hill from where my tent was. It was something stupid like 2am in the morning so I went without my torch, tripped over a guideline but made my way down the hill to the bathroom. So after I had finished in the bathroom, I made my way back up the hill to the tents in the dark. However, instead of going into my own tent, I walked in someone else’s tent and went to lie down on them thinking it was my bed.” – LTC TigerLily,x

“I was once so exhausted that when I bought food, I tried putting the fork in my wallet and was wondering why it can’t fit.” – CWO5 kimmy!

“So a few years back, I was talking to a girl in a bar and we transferred over contacting methods etc. etc., you know how it goes. Now I went on to contact this girl through the contacting methods she had provided me with, talking to her and she actually gave responses and stuff. When we went to see each other for another time, it turned out this was a whole other girl?? Fun ‘n games though, we went ahead with it and had a laugh about it and we’re still friends to this day.” – CAPT Camastrr

“My embarrassing moment at USDF is DCing at my own OCS ceremony. IT WAS SO AWKS but what’s even more awks is that I had another sara in my ceremony and we lived close to each other and WE BOTH DC’D TOGETHER!” – CDR candykitten22.


MCPO .cxt

A lot of people cry when they cut an onion. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
What did the grape say when he was pinched? Nothing, just a little wine.
What did one DNA strand say to the other? Does my bum look big in these genes?

CPL funnyjames2.0

Why does the military have a strict dress code for ceremonies & events? Civilian CASUAL TEES are not acceptable.

Capt ,-Platinum

What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

CW3 Penguin.

Didn’t you know that diarrhea is caused by genetics? It runs in your gene

CWO4 benzoino

Why did the sergeant go up a ladder? Because he wanted to climb up the ranks.
My uncle named his dogs Timex and Rolex. They’re his watch dogs
Have you heard about the Italian chef that loved making pizza?He pasta way.

LtCol NashSalvatorie

The car broke down when the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian were on a road trip in the desert. They decided to find the nearest oasis. “I’ll carry the water so we have something to drink,” said the Norwegian. “I’ll take the food so we have something to eat,” said the Dane. “I’ll take the car door with me, so we can roll down the window when it gets hot,” said the Swede.

The Unexplained Vision

by Promptis

By -Eils

Pounding music, with bass heavy enough to vibrate through the sticky floors. Cheap strobe light projections, dancing across the walls of each packed room. The scent of sweat and a lot of bodies was permeating the air. All parties were made of the same formula, but the energy of Halloween and the presence of costumes covering everybody in attendance elevated anticipation and lowered inhibitions; the liveliness thrummed in Noah’s body as he danced with his friends among the group of people in the foyer of the house. The latex of his costume clung to him like a second skin, sweat fusing the two together and raising his body temperature until he could no longer ignore the suffocating heat.

“Oliver,” he shouted to a boy on his right, “I need a drink, taking Mark with me. We’ll be right back.”

He tapped at the arm wrapped around his waist and turned around, meeting eyes with its owner, Mark, and mouthed a come with me before gripping his hand and turning back to make his way out of the crowd.

Noah passed by two more of his friends as he went, calling out to one of them, “Lucas!” and reaching out to touch the boy, gesturing with his head when he grabbed his attention—first towards Mark and then in the direction of the kitchen. Lucas gave him an okay hand signal and he took off, manoeuvring Mark through the dancers until they reached the edge of the room. They cleared through the doorway and made their way to the kitchen, where the air was clearer and they could hopefully cool down a bit.

“Are you doing okay?” Mark asked as he watched Noah grab water bottles for them from the counter; he pulled the boy closer as someone passed by behind him.

Noah took a second to gulp down half his bottle, and then grinned at him. “Yeah, I’m great, I was just a lil sweaty and wanted some water.”

He admired the water droplets running down the column of Mark’s neck as the other boy chugged his own bottle, internally thanking Mark for deciding to not wear a mask with his costume.

After they had finally stopped sweating, the two started to make their way back to the dance floor. Someone barreled through the kitchen doorway right as Noah was exiting, though, causing him to trip and nearly faceplant.

“Whoa, are you okay?” Mark caught him, then raised his head at the person who’d run into him and gave a dirty look. “Asshole.”

Noah regained his balance and stood back up, miffed but alright. “I’m fine—that was rude, but whatever.” He shook it off and interlaced his hand with Mark’s, allowing him to lead the way back to their friends.

They inserted themselves back into the crowd with ease, upon reuniting with their group, Noah released Mark’s hand to wrap his arms around Lucas’s neck, letting himself fall back into the rhythm of the music.

A few songs later, an unholy scream sounded by the front door, Noah whipped his head to his left just as the crowd lurched—shoving him in the opposite direction while more screams started erupting.

“What’s going on?!” Lucas shouted as Noah threw himself at Mark, desperate to not to lose him amidst the chaos of the people trying to run out of the room. He craned his neck and in between bodies he managed to catch the view of a student crumpled on the floor, blood pooling around them. His eyes travelled back up to see the glint of a large knife, and a person standing over them wearing a mask. They made eye contact, and the person made a sudden move towards him.

Flight kicked in with an intensity like never before as Noah grabbed Mark by the wrist and bolted, trying not to cry as he only thought about getting out. Out. Out. They followed the flow of people racing to exit the house, and passing the kitchen entrance Noah could see sliding doors leading to the backyard.

Before he could reach them, though, a small explosion went off from behind, the blast sending them flying forward and onto the floor.

“No!” he cried, feeling the burn of fire against his skin as he scrambled at Mark’s clothing, the two of them crawling out the open doors. He ignored the flames licking his shirt, allowing Mark to use him for balance as the two stood again then yanking him towards the gate that led out while chaos reigned around them.

Three steps in and he heard Mark scream, feeling a violent tug up his arm as the boy fell; Noah turned and a scream of his own ripped from his throat when he took in the halloween mask staring back at him. His head hit the grass and a searing pain erupted from his chest, leaving him too weak to reach out towards Mark as the world went black.

Noah snapped back into himself, staggering as he tried to focus on the words being spoken to him while being assaulted with the images in his head.

“Whoa, are you okay?” he heard Mark say, who raised his head at someone and gave them a dirty look. “Asshole.”

The word triggered something deep, and Noah snapped his head up towards Mark. His sympathetic nervous system kicked in as he looked at his boyfriend with wild eyes. He had seen something, and he knew what he saw.

“Mark, s-something’s wrong,” he stammered, grabbing him by the collar and frantically looking at the rooms around them. His voice started to increase in volume with every word he spoke, and he started drawing attention with the way he was nearly shouting. “This, I just saw all of this—right now we went back to dancing and then someone had a knife,  he started killing people and something exploded and we died Mark, we died! We were out in the—”

His voice suddenly dropped to a whisper. “—backyard.” Noah paid no attention to Mark’s concerned words as he turned and hurtled towards where he intrinsically knew the back door was, crashing into the frame and letting out a torn-off screech as he stared through the glass in mounting horror, taking in the yard laid out in front of him—exactly as he had just seen in his head. The yard he had never laid eyes on before now.

No. No. No. No. There was no time for thinking, there was no time—Mark tried to grab him by the waist and calm him down as he began to shriek, but Noah merely thrashed and got louder.

“It was real, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna die! We need to go! We have to leave now we have to—Oliver!” He babbled, tears streaming down his face he broke out of Mark’s grasp and entered a dead run through the crowd, barreling people over and shoving others out of the way with complete disregard. He launched himself at his friends, trying to grab at all three at the same time and yank them towards the doorway he’d just come from while also frantically scanning the crowd for the mask that was seared into the backs of his eyelids.

“Guys, Oliver, Lee, Lucas! We need to go—someone has a knife and we’re gonna explode, we’re gonna die, we have to leave! Go!” He was crying, hyperventilating, body dragging and shoving his friends toward the door as they worriedly looked at Mark, who only looked back at them terrified while helping Noah pull them out to the kitchen entrance where they could hear each other better. That’s where Oliver put on the brakes, much to Noah’s absolute panic.

“What’s going on with Noah, what happened?!” Oliver shouted in alarm, eyes sweeping over Noah’s shaking, frenzied state. He ignored his friend’s increasingly incoherent cries and tugs at his arm and turned to Mark, who looked two seconds from a breakdown himself.

“I don’t know, we were standing right here and he started freaking out he said someone here is gonna kill us he saw some kind of accident—”

“I saw it, I saw it all!” Noah blubbered, “Someone enters with a knife and they’re gonna start killing people and there’s gonna be an explosion and we aren’t gonna make it, we’re gonna die, we have to go! Now! Oliver, please, I love you, we have to go, we have to go, it’s gonna start we don’t have time…”

“Whoa, what do you mean you saw it? Noah, it’s okay you’re okay, nothing’s happening.” He reached out a soothing hand, but Noah smacked it away, grabbing him and shaking him in distress.

“No you don’t understand, it was real! I saw me and Mark bleed out on the backyard grass when I haven’t been outside yet! How could I know perfectly what the back looks like if I’ve never seen it before?” He was hysterical again, grasping at his friends and trying to move towards the door. “We need to go, please, I don’t want to die. I can’t leave you to die, I can’t please please let’s just go,” he begged.

The trio in their group looked at each other, and then again at their friend squirming in Mark’s arms, in a state never seen before.

“Okay let’s just go,” Lee said, “one party isn’t worth it, something’s going on, let’s just get Noah out of here and home.”

Noah sobbed in relief and pulled at Mark and Lucas’s hands, travelling at a speed just below a run as he sped out the back door and towards the gate, whispering apologies towards the unaware partygoers.

The group made it past the gate and hustled down the sidewalk towards the apartments, Noah hushing Lucas’s quiet complaints about his grip and Mark’s questions of concern while he just prayed they cleared the block safely.

A minute later, they heard screaming coming from the address they’d just left. Noah’s knees buckled and his friends faced the sound in horror as the screams grew in number and volume. Images flashed through Noah’s mind and he began trembling again, trying to get up and push Lucas forward at the same time.

“I knew it, I saw it, I was right,” he felt Lee yank him into a standing position and they started moving down the street and away, away, away. A loud boom suddenly rang throughout the air and made them trip in surprise; Noah clutched Mark with both arms and cried out.

“Oliver called 911,” Mark said shakily, “we gotta go, Lee, your place is closest.”

The boys nodded and all five of them stepped off the sidewalk to take off in dead runs, not stopping until they reached Lee’s building.

The quiet of the apartment felt deafening as Noah wept into Oliver’s arms on top of the living room rug, Oliver whispering “You’re okay, it’s okay, we’re all safe,” over and over. The only other sounds came from the kitchen and where Mark stood behind the couch, making weary phone calls to parents before the inevitable news stories broke out.

When Lee and Lucas padded in holding mugs of tea, Oliver helped Noah slowly sit up and grip him. It took a few minutes for the trickle of tears to subside, but after Noah had managed a few sips of tea, Oliver cautiously asked the unavoidable.

“So, Noah, you said earlier…that you saw…you saw what happened tonight before it happened?”

Noah stiffened, and Mark, overhearing the question, wrapped up his call and went over to comfort him. Once transferred into his boyfriend’s embrace, Lucas began to speak.

“I didn’t just see it…I—I lived it. Mark and I came back to dance again, a guy in the crowd started stabbing people, something exploded as we ran…our clothes were on fire, I felt it, we didn’t make it out, he caught us, I felt myself die—” his voice choked off and the room fell silent until Lucas spoke up, tears dripping down his face in rivulets as he threw himself at Noah.

“Whatever it was, Noah, you saved us. I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t drag us out when you did…I don’t want to think about…thank you, for working so hard to save us—I love you so much.”

His words caused the reality of the night to sink in and the rest of the boys broke down as they sat together, the solid warmth of each others’ bodies a reminder that they were safe and alive.

The following days were a constant struggle to return to their regular lives, forcing themselves through routines and responsibilities while their school publicly mourned for lost students and declared determination to apprehend the murderer. Noah refused to go anywhere without Mark and messaged his friends every hour—paranoia plaguing him like he was still stuck in that horrid night.

Every day was a smidge better, however, and by the next weekend he had managed a genuine smile at a joke Lee had sent to their group chat. Monday’s afternoon sunshine felt like a comforting blanket of light shining down, and Noah appreciated its warmth as he and Mark headed back from their last class.

They walked leisurely, hands joined together in a loose grip, but even so Noah couldn’t stop his eyes from automatically scanning their surroundings every half-minute; he was doing his mental breathing exercises, though, and focusing on the feeling of Mark’s thumb slowly caressing his own.

“Oh, babe, your phone’s ringing.” Noah heard a noise go off suddenly and shook their hands to grab the other’s attention, Mark fumbling for it in his back pocket.

“Hey, what’s u—”

Mark stopped walking, the confusion on his face sending a nervous zip through Noah’s body that persisted with every second that Mark stood silently listening.

He finally tilted the phone away from his face to speak, and Noah held the front of his hoodie as he relayed, “The guys want to meet us at the cafe, right now…He says it’s really important.”

Noah looked at him with uncertainty. “Why not at his and Oliver’s place? It’s a lot closer than the cafe is.”

“Yeah, he…he said they don’t exactly want to be at home right now.”

Their friends were sitting at a table by the time they arrived, differing levels of distress painted across their faces. Lucas greeted them and took a deep breath.

“Have you seen this news article that just came out? Noah, I—I needed to check something about it with you in person.”

He spun his phone towards the seated couple and they leaned forward to look at the screen. The headline blared news about a home invasion two days ago with nothing stolen but three students gruesomely killed, revealing further down that their bodies weren’t discovered until a day later. Accompanying the article were memorial portrait photos, the students’ smiling faces gazing up from the webpage. Mark and Noah starred in growing horror, until Noah finally spoke.

“Wait…I recognize them,” he murmured, and Lucas’s head snapped up.

“You do too, right, so I’m not crazy—you saw them too, at the—”

“Yeah,” Noah confirmed, putting together what Lucas meant. “…at the party. They were there, so they must have also survived that night.”

“And someone just murdered them,” Lee spoke. “We don’t know why, of course but just the timing…”

“It’s scary,” Oliver softly finished.

Noah sagged back into his seat. It was true that there was nothing concrete tying the two events together, but with what had happened a couple weeks ago, these two big killings occurring so closely in time was frightening. Coupled with his unexplainable premonition, it all settled in Noah’s stomach like a thick sludge.

Lucas reached across the table, and Noah took his outstretched hand. “We just wanted to tell you guys, and also check that you were okay…I don’t know what we can do right now, except stay safe.”

He quickly squeezed their joined hands. “Thanks, Lee.”

It was almost evening by the time Noah and Mark parted ways with their friends and continued their trek home, Noah’s head full of thoughts about the other boys while he fiddled with his phone and waited for their just home texts to ping.

“Noah, baby.” The call pulled him out of his head and he focused on Mark, who had stiffened next to him. “I don’t want to scare you, but I think someone’s following us.”

Noah’s blood turned to ice and he stared with wide eyes at Mark, whose own eyes were shaking as he pointedly continued to face forward. Trying not to hyperventilate, Noah eked out a low “how long?”

“About five minutes, white baseball cap,” he mumbled. “…If we run to the plaza, I think we can lose him in the crowd.”

“Okay,” he whispered, and they took off. Noah felt like his stomach was going to leap out his mouth, but they safely reached the lively throng of students and weaved through them before Mark suddenly pulled Noah sideways into a dim space between buildings.

Crouched in the darkness, hiding from an unknown man, images flashed through his mind: his friends running from the party, the students splashed across the news website, the white cap behind him when he had chanced a glance back. He wanted to scream; the sludge in his stomach consuming more of his organs.

His body suddenly weighed a thousand pounds as he looked at his boyfriend and croaked out, “Mark, I—do you think we…that night..what if everyone there was supposed to die?”

Without taking his eyes off the street, Mark answered, “Then we have to survive. You saved us once, Noah, we can’t let you down now.”

A white cap passed by—they waited, and then they ran.

How to Spice Up your Garden

by Yodar

By Aqualuvsyou

Did you know that starting a garden brings you several benefits? You can grow your own fresh, healthy produce that is rich in nutrients. It will also improve your mental health as studies have shown to reduce stress, and anxiety, improve mood, and provide a sense of accomplishment. It also helps reduce your carbon footprint by providing locally sourced food, and promotes biodiversity. Join me as we learn more about how to start up a garden that you will be so proud of!

Choose the right flowers & plants: Pick plants that will thrive in the current season and climate. Consult with a local nursery or horticulturist for recommendations.

Plan your garden layout: Plan out the layout of your garden and determine where you want to plant your flowers. Consider the amount of sunlight, shade, and water your flowers will need. Garden ornaments such as statues, bird baths, and fountains can add interest to your garden. Pick a color scheme for your garden. For instance, you could opt for a classic mix of pink and purple or a vibrant, bold scheme of orange and yellow. Mix and match colors, textures, and heights to create a unique and eye-catching display.

Consider the Environment: Choose plants that are suitable for your climate and soil type. Research which plants are native to your area and will thrive in your garden. This will save you time, money, and resources in the long run. Plant flowers that attract butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds to your garden. You can also add bird feeders and birdbaths to attract feathered friends to your outdoor space. Fragrant plants like roses and lavender will add an extra sensory dimension to your garden.

Add lighting: Garden lighting can create a magical atmosphere in your outdoor space. Use solar-powered lights to light up pathways, highlight features, and create a warm and inviting ambiance in your garden.

Prepare the soil: Prepare the soil by adding compost or other organic matter to improve its quality. This will provide nutrients for your plants and help retain moisture.

Plant at the right time: Plant your flowers at the right time, based on their specific needs. Some flowers require cooler temperatures to grow, while others need warmth and sunlight.

Water regularly: Water your flowers regularly, especially during hot and dry periods. Be careful not to overwater, as this can cause root rot.

Mulch: Adding a layer of mulch to your garden can help retain moisture, suppress weeds, and regulate soil temperature. Mulch also adds a neat and tidy appearance to your garden.

Add some variety: Mix and match different types of flowers to add some variety and visual interest to your garden. Add variety to your garden by combining different colors, textures, and heights. Use tall plants like hollyhocks and sunflowers to create a backdrop and shorter plants like pansies and snapdragons in the foreground. Try mixing plants with different foliage textures such as feathery ferns, spiky grasses, and broad-leaved hostas. Planting flowers that bloom at different times will give you a continuous display of color.

Prune: Regularly prune and deadhead your plants to keep them looking neat and encourage new growth. Remove any weeds and keep the soil tidy to create a beautiful and healthy garden.

Feed your plants: Feed your plants with a balanced fertilizer to provide them with the nutrients they need to thrive.

Consider container gardening: If you don’t have a lot of outdoor space, consider container gardening. You can grow flowers in pots or hanging baskets and place them on a balcony or patio. Choose plants that are suitable for containers and add a pop of color to your patio or balcony. Mix and match different colored pots with flowers that complement each other for a stunning display.

By following these tips, you will have a garden that you will be so proud of, and cannot wait to show it off to your visitors. It will also make your home more beautiful, and makes you want to come outside more often to enjoy your garden. I love working in my own garden, and I hope you will too!

May the Force be with You

by Manuel.Vazquez4

By .:Hoodini:.

It was a nice, clear and calm Sunday night on the OPA planet. Tomorrow would be Mother’s Day and everybody was ready to celebrate the best day ever with their mothers, but that happiness would last just a moment. The feared and powerful Darth Vader invaded the OPA planet to kidnap all mothers, so Vader would brainwash their brains. They wouldn’t recognize their sons and daughters, and the mothers wouldn’t be celebrated. This happened so fast and in silence, and our heroes didn’t realise because they were in a deep sleep.

Monday morning, Luke Skywalker was the first one to wake up. He felt the house empty and quiet. He called for his mother to hug her, but she did not answer. He went outside his house and there was nothing. Eventually the other heroes such as Han Solo and Master Yoda also noticed their mothers weren’t there, and came to the realisation that every mother in the world was gone. Suddenly, a voice boomed in the air.

“Hello Luke and company, I assume you already noticed my gift for Mother’s Day. The deal is this, come and fight with me one more time. If you win, you’ll take the mothers back, otherwise you will die trying. Oh, and if you try to come with more people, that will be just fine as I will not be alone.” said Darth Vader.

“Hello, father Han. It’s a shame I will have to destroy you, but you’re so weak. I don’t want to be the son of a coward and weak man. So, if you want to come and be a part of the extermination then I will wait for you.” said Kylo Ken.

Minutes later, Luke met with the other heroes to plan the rescue of the mothers. They’ll have to do it fast otherwise it would be too late. Our heroes launched directly to Vader’s spaceship. The journey lasted around 2 hours, which was maybe just enough time to discuss a plan and the priorities.

“Okay, so what’s the plan?” Luke asked.

“Easy. We rescue the women and kill the insects.” Han said, with a smirk on his face.

“Are you sure you want to do that to your son, Han?” Yoda replied.

“Master Yoda, what options do we have? You heard them say they will not be civilised. We don’t have any other choice.” Luke replied.

“Maybe you’re right, maybe not. But, maybe there are more options that we cannot see until the opportunity arises. Then, we will see clearly what we can do.” Yoda said, slowly pacing back and forth.

“I have lost all hope.” Han replied.

“Listen, Luke, you must confront Darth Vader alone. You know why. Han and I will face Kylo. Han may need me more than you do.” Yoda said.

They finally arrived at the spaceship, walking directly to Vader and Kylo. The women were in jail cells. Vader wanted them to watch the tragedy occur. The fight started, Vader and Kylo dominating the floor as they became stronger. Our heroes held it together hard. They showed a more defensive posture, maybe because they didn’t want to hurt them for the old relationship, however they needed to hurry up and release the women. Han had an idea, distracting Kylo by trying to talk to him and to think about the good moments they lived before Kylo lost the road. But, that was just a tactic so that Yoda could make a getaway to let the women free. Yoda made sure the women made it to the spaceship, unharmed and safe. Now, they would just have to wait for Luke and Han.

“The mothers are safe. Now, you have to get away from them. Keep in mind, whatever you decide to do, don’t regret and trust that decision.” Yoda said to Luke and Han.

Luke was losing the battle, a bit injured as well as Vader. Meanwhile, Han was still keeping his distance against Kylo, since the conversation tactic didn’t work. Kylo was carrying Han to a short and narrow passageway as well as Vader to Luke. Both Luke and Han touch their backs. There wasn’t an escape, and they were on a losing streak.

“It seems this is the end, dear friend.” Han said to Luke in a whisper.

“Not yet. I have a plan, Han. At my signal, we fall.” Luke replied in a whisper.

In that moment, Vader and Kylo made their attack at the same time. Luke gave the signal, and they both jumped off the passageway. Vader and Kylo ended up attacking each other instead, knocking each other unconscious. With a successful mission, Luke and Han made it back to the spaceship with smiles on their faces. Our heroes didn’t make any bad decisions and we don’t know what happened with Vader and Kylo, but at least everyone could celebrate Mother’s Day with their mothers and enjoy a successful victory.

Those that Lived

by KreepKap

By reignoff

We walked across the snow-topped pine forest, carrying an immense weight on our backs, clutching our carbines. Our platoon of 12 men was led by Platoon Commander 1LT Henry, a grim, muscular fellow. We were headed towards a rendezvous point, just hours after we had neutralized an enemy target, in the doing of which we had lost 3 men. We were deep behind enemy lines. With successful execution of our first objective, we were a step closer to cutting off the supply line of the enemy.

Our assault was bound to have alerted the ever-watchful enemy, which meant that we were in a hurry. We walked under the moonlit sky riddled with stars in the cold, freezing weather, a frigid wind blowing upon our gloomy faces. Our Platoon Commander feared that a blizzard was imminent. These were not favorable conditions, harsh weather, and bitter enemies. Both were fast approaching us.

My battle buddy PFC Jason was walking by my side, as frail as an old man. Clearly he wasn’t pleased with the extensive periods of walking. He stumbled across the snow. I offered to carry his assault pack and he gladly handed it to me whilst whispering a thanks. To lend a hand both in and out of combat was the principle of military bond. The men with whom we are deployed and serve with, they are no less than brothers to us. It is an honor to serve alongside such men, far from the comfort of our homes, friends and families.

The weather became more concerning as it had started snowing, it was now obvious that a blizzard would be coming in soon. Each step I took dug into the snow; I was quivering and found breathing to be difficult. My feet and face felt numb. I was continually afraid of fainting. Even if the enemy couldn’t kill us, the weather damn well would. I pleaded to the Platoon Commander, urging him to take a break. He refused saying that we’d get caught in the blizzard were we not to hurry.

After walking another three miles, we heard the joyous ambience of helicopter rotors. Soon we saw the figure of a MH-60, which seemed as though a stunner at that hour. The helicopter descended and hovered over the ground, finally touching down on the snowy ground, projecting snow and dirt into the sky. As soon as we had boarded the helicopter, it started to ascend once more into the night sky.

We were now headed towards base camp, far from any enemy threat. Just as we thought that our worries had come to an end, the wind gushed immensely stronger and the snowfall became more frequent. The pilot’s field of vision decreased. Just as we thought things couldn’t get worse, the red lights in the cabin turned on and the cockpit panel started beeping. We glanced at each other desperately, fearing the worst. We started facing some extreme turbulence. I glanced into the cockpit and to my horror, saw the altitude marking on the altimeter speedily decreasing. I rushed back to my place and held tight my assault pack to my face, hoping that it would somewhat shield me from our inevitable crash.

The last things I heard were the Platoon Commander urging everyone to brace. The rotors got louder, the interior lights started flickering and all of a sudden the helicopter slammed into the ground, causing me to lose consciousness.

I had thought I would never open my eyes again, yet here I was, sprawled on the snowy ground staring into the sky, unsure of whether I was alive or not. I felt peculiar, I felt no pain, and heard nothing. Everything was awingly silent. Just as I had lost hope, a whisper broke the silence. It was the Platoon Commander.

“David, take these two notes. One is to my family, and one is to the nation. Take these with you, get yourself out of here” he said, taking pauses between each word.

I dragged myself towards him and grabbed the notes from him and slid them into the pocket of my torn trouser. Silence befell upon us once more.

The platoon commander’s breaths were visible due to the cold weather. Though suddenly, the breaths stopped. I took his pulse, and to my dismay saw that he had no pulse. He had laid down his life for defense of the homeland. Around me lay the bodies’ of the valiant soldiers who had served the nation, and in doing so, had given the ultimate sacrifice. I lay there unable to move, certain that I was about to join my brothers.

Just as I was on the verge of death, I heard the distant rumbling of a jeep. It was the enemy. I tried to get up, but I couldn’t. I desperately scrambled around, looking for something with which I could fight back. It was of no use; I stopped fighting and accepted my fate. The rumbling of the jeep got louder and louder, and finally, its headlights shone into my eyes. A tall, bearded man got off from the jeep, he was holding a pistol. Clutching the pistol in hand, he approached me. I had expected a shot in the chest, but instead, the man after seeing that I was alive, urged some soldiers to carry me into the jeep. I was the only survivor of that fatal crash. 4 hours later, I lay in my bed in a hospital, bandages wrapped around my arms, chest and leg. Fruit baskets on the table next to me. In my hand I held 1LT Henry’s blood-stained note to the nation. It read:

 We who have laid down our lives have done so that you may not lose yours. We who have shed blood have done so that yours may not be shed. We are not the first, nor the last to die for freedom and peace. Our sacrifice is the result of our love for the nation and for the truth. These young men are the life of the country, the embodiment of bravery.

Looking Back in USDF

by Emobabykittycat


USDF- Historical Events

A snapshot guide on the most influential changes in USDF history over the years


For those who have been enlisted and involved in USDF’s operations, it is most likely easy for them to remember what events have happened, yet for those recently enlisted, the historical events thread may seem daunting at first. The following article will go over the main events that have changed USDF’s history in a context that is easy to read for those who are recently enlisted, to those who have been part of our success over the years.

It was a war between USDF and GOV-BAF. Though I didn’t personally take part in the war, how USDF, especially HQ, operated during wartime was something very unique and an event like that has yet to happen again” – Kevnn O5 – Lieutenant Colonel

Historical events that impacted Agencies: The great mute

Although USDF was not officially rebranded until 2015: The great mute significantly impacted the DEPTNAV when it first occurred in 2012. The great mute was a Habbo-wide mute that occurred on Wednesday, June 13, 2012, and was a result of a news report that revealed sexual allegations from some members of the Habbo community. This led to the whole platform being unable to send messages, significantly impacting the way people communicated and especially the day to day functions in HQ. People protested through filling up rooms with torches and spelling out sentences on the floor, mainly aimed at Channel 4 for their involvement in a partial shutdown of a game that was enjoyed by many and ruined by a minority. 

To this day: No mute has ever taken place due to the strict restrictions of the moderators, a revised chat system and the ability to report and mute inappropriate content. In USDF, anyone caught communicating inappropriate messages will be either warned, receive a disciplinary or be removed from the organization depending on the severity of the message. We do not tolerate such language. We are an open and safe space for everyone to join.

– A badge given to those who took part in the protests

– Habbo’s gather in the welcome lobby in support of the protest (HabboWiki, 2023).                                                                      

Headquarter improvements

USDF has undergone a vast amount of improvements in relation to the headquarters to ensure that operations run smoothly, effectively and that the workplace takes into account the needs of the personnel working there. Below are a few examples of how the base has changed from the beginning to now…

Key base features from 2015-2022

The following events are all taken from the USDF historical files record. The following events all impacted USDF in ways such as improving the way standard of work (SoW) is recorded, new functions in base, different branches opening, changes in technology and important documents signed. 

(For more information, please visit:


5 Jan – USDF forums are created.

25 Jan – Demerit System implemented. Personnel Tracking System (PTS) is established.

31 Jan – USDF Twitter account established.

07 Feb – Officer Candidate School is established.

21 Feb – First parade hosted. (1 month anniversary)

23 Mar – Standard of Work system is established.

03 Apr – Marines branch opens, marking the second branch.

06 Apr – Welcome Desk introduced to HQ.

25 Apr – Military clothing was added for all of Habbo to wear. New standard of dress was created.

29 Aug – DEPTNAV rebrands to USDF to facilitate opening a third branch!

29 Aug – US Army branch opens. 

18 Nov – US Air Force branch opens. 


10 Dec – USDF hosts their first Non-Uniform Day! To this day, USDF continuously promotes the importance of motivation and  morale of fellow personnel through a variety of different themed non-uniform days, including crazy hat hour, crazy shirt hour, crazy eyewear, non uniform hour and crazy feet hour.


26 Jun – USDF moves from Slack to Discord! To this day, Discord is an important aspect of ensuring HQ runs effectively,  as well as promoting socialization and finding common ground with other personnel through private groups.


19 Mar – USDF rejoins the Condemnation of Illegal Warfare Treaty (CIW-T) with a unanimous vote of the incumbent members. 


30 Nov – Addition of Activity Points as another form of Standard of Work

04 Jan – Majority of the agencies/military across all hotel shutdown for 72h to participate in the #SaveHabbo movement organized by SecDef xStarlight11 and DepSecDef Icerz.


03 Aug – Launch of SoW submission on PTS site. All personnel now own a PTS account.

03 Aug – USDF withdraws from the CIW-T

Major changes in staff

Over the last five years, there have been numerous changes to the chain of command. The following pages will go over the main changes and their contribution to USDF…

  1. SecDef Sycron (23rd January 2015- 24th January 2018)

Founder and President Sycron made a huge impact on how USDF has developed over the time, with an impressive service of 3011 days. Although Sycron retired in 2018, he continued to be involved in administration logs and the forums until late 2022. Sycron was a true leader and without his ideas and support: USDF would not be the same organization we have today. Thankyou Sycron for your service and contributions over the years.

  1. Vice President TekD. (22nd February 2015- 24th January 2018)

With an also impressive service time of 2980 days, Vice president TekD. followed on from the previous organization DEPNAV. TekD. received numerous medals, commendations and positive comments for his outstanding work in conducting FEATS and his work in the Military Advisory Council. Receiving the Medal of Honor in 2015:the vice president went on to receive numerous awards for his efforts in the wars over the years. In 2018: he stepped down from his role to take on a semi retired position. We thank him for his service and contributions he has given to USDF and wish him all the best in his future endeavors. 

  1. Speaker of the House Controllable. (28th March 2015- 1st November 2020)

Controllable. worked his way up the ranks before finally being promoted to the Secretary of State. Controllable. Had an impressive service time of 2924 days and received the Medal of Honor in 2017 for his valiant effort in wartime, his leadership skills and distinguished service. Controllable. Is still active in visiting Habbo and USDF. Thankyou for your service.

  1. Senate Maj Leader  Watch4Me ( 18th May 2015- 10 September 2022)

Watch4Me joined USDF following on from his acceptance to be transferred to Officer Selectee. Watch4Me worked very hard alongside his peers in the Military Advisory Council and had an impressive service time of 1925 days. The Medal of Honour was awarded in 2015 for his outstanding service in leading the Navy, his vaillant work in wartime, showing fantastic mentorship and leadership as well as his work ethic. Watch4Me can still be found often sitting in HQ on most days, ensuring operations are running smoothly. Thankyou for your service.

Historical mentions for others who also retired and can no longer be found on the PTS

2016: 05 Aug Greeksta23 retired.

2019: 03 Sep – Icerz officially retires from USDF as 3iC/Chief Management Officer.

2020: 20 Jan – General Jarenso retires after five years of service in a multitude of roles.

2020: 13 Oct – MEXYYY retires from Senior Counselor to the SecDef, thus retiring the position as well.

2021: 28 Feb – CMO Fotoshop retires from USDF. 

2022: 15 Jun – CJCS davidhif2 retires

2022: 28 Jul – SecDef xStarlight11 and DepSecDef TheRealMatrix retires.

Alliances and Wartime

The following timeline goes over all of the previous wars and who became victorious. TekD released war time medals for the war against the Department of Defence. TekD., LostPrayer, .Xilith., Controllable. were awarded the Distinguished Service Award. All active personnel E4+ were awarded the Achievement Service Medal.



09 Aug – DEPTNAV goes to war with GOV.BAF after their declaration of war.

16 Aug – War with GOV.BAF ends. DEPTNAV (USDF) wins!


28 Jan – USDF allied with the Ministry of Defense (MinDef).

08 Oct – Declaration of War against Department of Defense (DoD owned by CMC Xannied)

11 Oct – CMC Xannied closes DoD, committing an unconditional surrender. USDF wins second war since reopening.

24 Oct – USDF allied with British Armed Force


28 Mar – USDF allied with the Department of Defense (DoD).

11 Apr – USDF allied with Habbo Intelligence Agency (HIA).

05 Aug – USDF ends partnership with the Habbo White House.

06 Aug – USDF allied with Habbo Defense Agency (HDA).

09 Aug – USDF ends the alliance with the White House (WH).

07 Nov – War with USM ended. USDF wins.

04 Dec – USDF allied with the Secret Service (SS).


04 Aug – Alliance with International Development Association (IDA).


05 Mar – USDF declares war on BAF in the interests of personnel safety.

23 Mar – USDF wins the war on BAF! HOOYAH!

Our current  DEFCON Level is GREEN- Meaning we do not have any elevated risk of war occuring. However, should this occur, we will be ready to stand and fight as the #1 military simulation in Habbo!

Color-in Your Garden

by -Eils

Colour-in your garden – what could that possibly mean? Well… it is what it says on the tin. It’s time to get the colouring pencils out and start colouring in your garden, or at least something with flowers.

I know what you might be thinking though, isn’t colouring for children? The short answer is no, and that is such an outdated way of thinking. Colouring in is a really popular activity for both children and adults, and for a good reason. Not only is it a fun and creative way to spend your time, but it also offers a multitude of benefits. Firstly, colouring in is an extremely healthy stress reliever; it calms your brain, and encourages your body to relax.  Secondly, it can improve focus and concentration by requiring attention to detail and concentration on a task. (Now this alone would encourage me to do some more colouring in, as I have such a garbage attention span!)

Additionally, colouring has been shown to stimulate the brain, promote hand-eye coordination, and enhance fine motor skills. Moreover, it can serve as a form of self-expression and creativity, allowing individuals to explore their artistic side. Overall, colouring in can be a great tool for improving mental health and overall well-being – hence why a tool like colour therapy exists. 

But, why are we specifically colouring in flowers? Well, obviously it is the theme of this month’s Libertarian, so that is a dead giveaway. However, there is so much imagery associated with flowers which really adds to the stress relieving benefits which colouring in provides. 

When we look at flowers, we see life – we see nature. I know some of you may have not touched grass in a little while, but that’s okay! If you’re not able to go outside and connect with nature physically for whatever reason (not sure if being addicted to doing DDO shifts counts as a valid reason though), then taking some time to sit down and colour in a flower or two is an alternative way to do that.

I’ve made three pretty basic colouring in sheets of flowers, which you can see below: 

If none of them appeal to you, or you want something a bit more intricate to do, that is okay I will just try and not take offence! Joking, obviously. The best way to get stuck into colouring in is to find a picture which speaks to you. All it takes is a quick google search and I am sure you will find what you are looking for. A lot of Etsy sellers also sell single colouring in sheets for cheap prices as well, so feel like being generous today? Go support an artist as well. 

What are you still doing here? Go on, be free, get colouring in!

The State of Military Flower in USDF

by Maxite

For as long as people have divided themselves into groups, they have sought to gain total military superiority over their near and distant neighbours. The earliest endeavours were fought with sticks and stones, but the Agricultural Revolution around 12,000 years ago massively changed landscape. Now powers like the USDF and even civilian agencies have used the developments in military flower to further advance their interests, both domestically and abroad.

Behold, the humble Daffodil. Let us start with this simple and early-blooming flower which has been utilised by the Office of the Director of Administration & Management (ODA&M) to aid them in a variety of work. Years of selective hybridization and genetic engineering have created several variants that are capable of integrating with spreadsheets to track the stock market in real time. With their root systems deeply integrated into modern chipsets, they are able to directly manipulate bits used in inventory tracking schemes across a variety of software platforms.

Other offices in the USDF have invested heavily in botany as well. The Office of Operational Tests & Evaluations (OOT&E) has found that Forget-me-nots can be used to synthesise powerful enhancement serums. A member of the OOT&E team agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity on their program:

“We spent years looking for a way to help our troops succeed when it came to our learning regimens. It’s only been in the past year that we discovered that ketones found in the forget-me-not flower had incredible performance enhancing powers, allowing people to retain an astonishing 70% more information during their studies and training than those who didn’t take any supplements. Of course, this is all top secret and not to be shared with the public.”

The usage of floral superiority isn’t just aimed towards administrative and educational efforts. The Office of International Security Affairs (OISA) has found a flower that can promise to bring peace to the entire world: the Geranium. At a recent press conference, their spokesperson had this to say about their Geranium Initiative:

“The most incredible thing about this flower is how adaptable it is. Plant it in soil, and it grows. But if you replace the soil with a carefully controlled chemical substrate rich in azides, the flowers basically turn into landmines. Our most recent tests have shown that a small field could yield the explosive equivalent of 3 kilotons of TNT. And when those petals start flying towards the stratosphere, it’s just an inspiring sight.”

Beyond just external security, offices have found ways to use flowers to empower internal security. The Office of the Judge Advocate General (OJAG) recently announced the closure of their court system, and instead has initiated the process of “trial by flower.” Members who are accused of a crime are planted in a bed of creeping Black-eyed Susans. This specific variety of flower is parasitic, and feasts on the guilty. If after their 72-hour holding the accused has not been devoured by the dictators, they are released.

The state of military flower continues to grow, and especially as spring advances in the northern hemisphere there will be an explosion of development on this front. The USDF continues to remain committed to advancing this field to the next level, but it will remain a while to see if the fruits of those additional efforts will be borne.

Special Thanks to