USDF Mascot Naporkleon

Naporkleon trotted into HQ with no orders, no badge, and no shame - just a tiny red beret perched sideways on his head and a grunt that said, “I’m in charge now.” OJSIG tried to remove him. Twice. He oinked at them until they gave up. Since then, he's claimed the role of "Director of Attention Interruptions" and executed the job with wild success and zero oversight.

Porky's commitment to chaos is relentless. During a Senior Command and Officer meeting on our regulations and procedures, Porky waddled across the briefing room floor, squealed dramatically, and knocked the projector cable out of the wall. The room erupted into laughter. The meeting ended early. Porky was hailed as a hero by Officers and a "recurring issue" by Senior Command.

He takes his red beret seriously - though he’s chewed off one corner and no one knows where he got it. Some say it was issued in error. Others claim he simply stole it off a distracted OJSIG MPO mid-yawn. Regardless, he wears it like a badge of mischief and continues to show up uninvited to security briefings, desk inspections, and coffee breaks.

Despite the complaints, Porky remains a beloved (and unstoppable) pet in HQ. His clearance has been accidentally archived, shredded, and mysteriously replaced multiple times. Every attempt to formally discharge him has been met with a tail-wag, and a stubborn snort.

Porky doesn’t follow orders. He interrupts them. And somehow, that’s exactly why everyone’s okay with him being here.